Still intact

Y'know, for a little while there I was beginning to worry that I'd lost myself. The me I realized I was over the last couple years, mostly over the last 8 or 9 months. I really enjoy being me. I'm someone I'd like to hang out with... you know, if I wasn't already stuck being me, and all.

I've learned a lot over the last couple years. Not just academically, but real stuff --- people stuff. This isn't to say I've figured out the inner workings of the human race, but sometimes I get it. Sometimes I know what to expect of people, and I usually have a little default setting for most people, until they start breaking through it showing that I can take down the default setting and give them their own personal one. I've met people who aren't everyday default people --- they're people I relate to, sometimes in a completely obscure way, but I can still interact with them with relative ease.

Anyway, back to me still being here and not diminishing in a haze of old surroundings and shitty weather. I really did start to fear that I was only the person I was, because I had a set of friends, who I would hang out with on a nearly a nightly basis. I was afraid I had a fake personality that vanished once they weren't around. Silly me. I don't know if you'll be pleased, but I was EXTREMELY pleased to find out that was not the case. Here's how I came to this conclusion:

I found myself eavesdropping on my own thoughts today... and suffice it to say, I'm not gone. What a relief.

In other news, I'm still getting my ass handed to me by karma... and I can't say that I'm enjoying it much. I don't think I deserve a punishment this harsh.

Karma

I can't quite be sure... but I think karma is kicking my ass right now.